Wedding Memorial Ideas

Rachel Solomon Photography/Rani Hoover Inspired Weddings & Events/Riley’s Flowers via Grey Likes Weddings

*UPDATED FOR 2021* So, let’s talk wedding memorials and remembrances. Not a cheerful topic, but something that unfortunately affects many engaged couples as they plan their wedding day, knowing that someone important won’t be present. Whether it’s a recent loss or someone long-missed whose absence is especially felt on big occasions, many of you will have a parent, one or more grandparents, a sibling, or an old friend on your mind. And, while a wedding is the happiest of occasions, it’s also a celebration of history and community, and I think an appropriate moment to acknowledge those who are part of that history, even if they are deceased. But how do you create a wedding memorial that pays tribute without lessening the joy?

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Bouquet Photo Charm by Bridal Photo Charms

Artisan Events, Inc./Bliss Weddings and Events via Style Me Pretty (left) | Custom Bouquet Charm by Georgie Designs (right)

I think the first thing to think about is how recent and raw the loss is – for you and for others. While you never stop missing someone, as time goes on it does get easier to talk about them without breaking down, and to smile over happy memories. A moment of silence is a special thing to do, but if a tragedy has only recently happened, it may be better to choose more subtle and private means of remembrance. Talk to others close to the person who has died and see what they feel capable of dealing with as well. There are many public ways of paying tribute, but there are also many lovely private ones, and I have included suggestions for both here. There are no hard and fast rules; do what you feel comfortable with and what is appropriate to the person’s memory. Most importantly, remember that everything a wedding celebrates is all the more precious because those moments don’t last forever. Being in that moment and allowing yourself to experience and hold on to all its tremendous joy is the best tribute you can give.

Over the years, I’ve come across some lovely wedding memorial ideas to remember precious loved ones. Here are some of my favourites.

Youkeun Oh Photography via Style Me Pretty(left) | Alejandra Printable Wedding Memorial Sign by Orchard Berry (right)

Ryan Ray via Magnolia Rouge

Favourite Things

Think about your loved one’s favourites, as well as your own most treasured memories and defining moments, and see if you can include them in the wedding design.

Include flowers with a connection to your loved one as a wedding memorial. Say, for example, that your grandmother’s name was Rose, or sunflowers were her favourite flower, or you remember her making lavender sachets when you were a child. You could incorporate these flowers into your bouquet or place a special vase of them on the ceremony altar.
Celebrate their likes and interests. Perhaps your father loved antiques, so you’ll have a vintage element to your reception, or your mother collected owls, so you have your stationery designer include them in your invitation design.
Include their favourites: put a signature dish on the menu, dedicate their favourite song to them at the reception, or wear a spritz of their favourite perfume.
You could also have your wedding at a meaningful venue, or on a meaningful date.

The nice thing is, you can keep these wedding memorials to yourself or share them with your guests (in the programme, perhaps). Either way you’ll feel something of your loved one is there in spirit.

KMI Photography via Style Me Pretty (left) | Generations Of Love Acrylic Wedding Sign by Pink Posies and Pearls (right)

Wood In Memory Sign by Rand A Design Company

The Ceremony

The ceremony is often where missing family members are remembered.

Have your minister make mention of them, asking guests to light a candle in their hearts and minds, or observe a moment of silence.
Incorporate a favourite reading (or one by an author they love) into your ceremony, or a favourite song or piece of music.
As part of their ceremony, one couple read out love letters their grandparents had written one another, which I think is a beautiful, original touch.
Add a brief mention in your programme.
Some couples choose to have an empty seat for missing loved ones, with a flower or photograph on it. If you’re considering this, make sure that the rest of your family know about the gesture and are able to handle it – something this overt could be painful for them.

Grooms Boutonniere Memorial Wedding Photo Charm by Wedding Bouquet Charms

Anna Rozenblat/Johnny Miller via Martha Stewart Weddings (left) | Custom Memorial Photo Wedding Cufflinks by Witwoo Handmade (centre) | Grooms Boutonniere Memorial Wedding Photo Charm by Wedding Bouquet Charms (right)

Meaningful Objects

Carrying something that belonged to your loved one is a subtle but truly memorable way to have them with you.

Many brides now wrap their bouquets with lace from a grandmother’s wedding dress, a treasured rosary or brooch, or a locket containing a photograph.
I also love the idea of sewing something into your dress – an initial perhaps, or a heart made of a favourite shirt or other clothing item.
Create a pouch for the rings from an old necktie or dress.
Some brides choose to wear jewellery from a family member, or incorporate it into their something new. For example, one of my friends wore a necklace made up of brooches owned by both her own family and her husband’s recently deceased grandmother, and it looked so gorgeous!
Grooms can do the same, with locket boutonnieres or custom photo or symbolic cufflinks.

The Great Romance/CCL Weddings & Events via Style Me Pretty (left) | Forever in Our Hearts Clear Glass Acrylic Wedding Sign by Pink Posies and Pearls (right)

This Candle Burns In Memory Candle Sign by Splendid Moment

Candles and Photographs

Candles and photographs are the traditional way to remember someone, and there are lots of creative options here too.

Light a candle during the wedding ceremony, or have one burning on a table at the reception.
On the welcome table, lay out rows of candles that your guests can light in memory.
A table of photographs (or a wall, or a memory tree) is also a lovely idea, especially if you use wedding pictures to reflect the joy of your own day and honour your predecessors’ own marriages.
Alternatively, choose representative items instead of photographs and display them on a table at the ceremony or reception.

KMD Creations via The Knot

Memory Patch by Lynns Loose Ends (left) | Something Blue Personalized Bridal Memorial Patch by Shannah J Smith (centre) | Charlotte Jenks Lewis via 100 Layer Cake (right)

Hand Embroidered Remembrance Tie Patch by Sew Happy Girls

Guest Involvement

There are also some lovely ways to involve your guests.

Give them something to wear. At one wedding, guests were invited to take a flower and wear it in their hair during the ceremony to remember the bride’s grandmother. At another, the guests were given little buttons in memory of the groom’s father.
Some couples choose to make donations to cancer or other charities instead of favours. I especially think this idea works when give your guests small pins or ribbons to wear, and you’ll be really touched by how many of them will.

Reserved Memorial Wedding Sign by The Ritzy Rose

Juicebeats Photography via Whimsical Wonderland Weddings (left) | Wooden Wedding Sign by Jolie Mae Collections (right)

Imago Vita Photography via Style Me Pretty

Speeches

Finally, the most simple way to mention someone is during the speeches, as many grooms already will do. This can be a very emotional moment, so keeping it brief is perfectly acceptable. Speak from the heart. I love the idea of a special toast, especially if it’s a favourite drink (you could do this after the speeches with just close family if you’d prefer). What I like best about this is the celebratory nature of a toast – and after all, celebrating those we love alongside the new marriage is what it’s all about.