Guest Post: The Groomsmen’s Duties

Source: Mankoana & Nzuzo’s elegant Sophiatown-themed wedding (Photography: Andrea Carlyle)

Happy Friday, lovelies! I have such a treat for you today! A while back, we asked the lovely Theresa Lazarevic of Creation Events to share her advice for bridesmaids and maids of honour. I knew her advice was good, but I couldn’t imagine how many times it would be read and shared by brides all over the world – it’s been consistently our top post ever since (over 125,000 views so far!), and has been pinned and repinned thousands of times on Pinterest as well. So we thought it was about time that we gave the guys a turn, and Theresa has been good enough to gather more of her straightforward, sensible advice for the groomsmen and best men of the world. Send this off to the hubs-to-be and his besties, pin it for future reference and rest assured that now your whole bridal party will know exactly what needs to be done. Thanks so much, Theresa! Over to you…

PS Download an emergency kit checklist for the groomsmen right HERE


Source: Sarah & Matt’s Game Lodge Glam wedding (Photography: Fiona Clair)

When asked to be your buddy’s best man for his wedding I think most gentlemen undoubtedly ask themselves what a best man truly is. I guess that most of them will hit Google with the question “What is expected of a best man?” and naturally we all want to know what will make us the best of besties that we could be…

Well the truth is that you will be a combination of valet and hand-holder as you help the groom come through this nerve-wracking experience with flying colours. The latter will be assured by following these simple guidelines:

  • Serve as the groom’s personal advisor and assistant before and during the wedding. This can include helping him pack his honeymoon case (the valet part!).
  • Assist the groom with getting his wedding attire, whether it is rented or bought, and make sure you coordinate the other groomsmen to get their kit sorted too. After all, you guys are supposed to match.
  • Traditionally the best man and groomsmen have to pay for their own wedding gear. Luckily, you can usually rent a tux for quite a bit less than what the bridesmaids’ dresses will cost. Be sure to get fitted at the specified store with time to spare – you don’t want to walk down the aisle wearing high-water trousers!
  • Offer to assist in sorting out accommodation for other groomsmen that might be arriving from out of town.
  • Organise the bachelor party and don’t be shy about calling on the assistance of the other groomsmen to help you out – most guys won’t mind this duty! When it comes to the financials, it is customary that the cost of the event is split among everyone who attends the bash.
  • When organising the bachelors make sure that you organise something that the Groom will actually like to have or that would “speak” to his own personality.
  • Make sure you are aware of all the pre-wedding events and that you are able to attend them. The wedding rehearsal will give you your chance to figure out where you need to stand on the day and if required of you, who you’re supposed to walk down that aisle.

Source: Katy & Theoniel’s beach wedding (Photography: Jules Morgan)

  • The night before the wedding make sure the groom goes to bed at a decent time and that he doesn’t get into any last minute mischief.
  • On the morning of the wedding wake the groom up in time and make sure he enjoys a wholesome but sturdy breakfast. Resist feeding him shots of whisky!
  • Get the groom to the church on time! (Also make sure that you are aware of the photographer’s program, as these days they often visit the groom before the ceremony for their own getting ready shots. We don’t want him/her to run around looking for you and consequently delay the whole day’s events.)
  • You should arrive at the ceremony site at least 20 minutes before the ceremony starts. You may be asked to usher some guests to their seats. These days it is often only the immediate family that has allocated seats and the rest of the guests have free seating.
  • Most importantly, stand on the groom’s right hand side at the altar and keep the bride’s ring until vows are exchanged. Find a safe place for the ring (and make sure your pockets don’t have holes) – you don’t want to fumble around when it’s time to whip it out.
  • If requested by the couple, sign the marriage license as a witness after the ceremony.

Source: Lana & Albertus’ chevron & sparkle wedding (Photography: Moira West)

  • Be prepared to serve as Information Central during the wedding, directing guests to restroom facilities and to the reception site.
  • If any suppliers are to be paid in cash on the day handle these transactions on the groom’s behalf. The services the groom is traditionally responsible for are the bride’s transport to the ceremony, the ministers, the bride’s bouquets and all the retinue flowers and all the beverages at the reception.
  • Dance with both the maid/matron of honour and the bride during the reception, or single female guests during the evening.
  • Probably the most frightening and biggest duty is the toast to the bride and groom at the reception. Be sure not to drink too much before the speech and remember the golden rule: ”Mum’s the word on the bachelor antics”.
  • Collect any gift envelopes guests bring to the reception and make sure they are kept in a safe place.
  • Being a best man will definitely stretch your pocket so when it comes to the wedding present team up with one of the other groomsmen or bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridal party troupe pitches in for one ‘knock-their-socks-off’ wedding gift.
  • Decorate the getaway car. Grab the other groomsmen and the bridesmaids for this one.
  • Make sure that the couple has a safe way to get from the reception to the wedding night accommodation. If you decide to drive them yourself, you’ll need to stay sober throughout the reception. If you have a feeling this may not be possible, hire a limo or taxi to drive the couple off into the sunset.

Last but not least, the wedding will be over in the blink of an eye, so remember to enjoy yourself at the reception. After all, you’re there to celebrate the happiest day of your best friend’s life!

Source: Madri & Charles’ white blossom wedding (Photography: Adene Photography)


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